mis educated?

I'm reading Carter G Woodson's Miseducation of the Negro.  I' ve been exposed to a lot of different things recently, mostly on racism in america.  Out of that this book came to my mind, as something I've never read, even though it has sat on my parent's bookshelf since I was small.

So far Mr. Woodson makes several great points even though this book was written over 80 years ago, these points are relevant even now to our black race.
One thing he talks about is our miseducation.  He discusses black elite, and black scholars, and gives some suggestions as to the direction that we need to take.

One of the things that I appreciate him saying out rightly about the arts

"Negroes graduating from conservatories of music dislike the singing of folk songs.  For some reason such misguided persons think that they can improve on the productions of foreign drama or render the music of other people better than they can themselves." p. 140

This has to do with me, and some of the mental anguish I've been experiencing. My reaction is that yes a lot of western european music is accessible to a black musician. It touches me and moves me just the way it does them.  Rendering it though....

He also contends that we learn in school and through our education to imitate and do as we are told in order to succeed. However, we may not need to do what was done before, even if it was a worthy thing.

So new thinking, new ways of doing things, also education of ourselves begins to emerge our aim. Who are we as black people. What do we need to develop as a culture? How do we see things, how should we express ourselves. How should we educate the next generation?

These thoughts are still swirling in my head. And I can't wait for clarity of thought.

Peace

I'm the adult

The bottom line today was that I had to act in my adult mode. I can't get crazy, I can't lose it. I show that I am an adult by being in control of my actions and my emotions.

Some kids were testing me today, and I can't say I passed completely.  One kid in particular bugs me, because he just has this arrogant attitude, and he displays a bad model for other students. I need to address his behavior, but it should probably be when it actually occurs. He is older so I can hit him with the mature thing, but I know that he is still a kid.  He still acts like one, completely.  OK, also as a Christian I realize that his potential is not there, and that is not my ministry. IT just isn't so I really should give my attention to folk I can actually impact and help.  NOt ignore the individuals, but just understand that if they don't get it, then they just wont get it with me.   I'm ok with that and I need to invest my energy and mental space on those I came here for.  Perhaps these individuals can be ministered to by someone else, but it doesn't seem to stick with me.  Lord purge me from any evil, allow your love to flow deeply through my veins. Give me the wisdom to deal with every situation.

God allow me to be the adult at all times, but still be loving and your child.  with your heart as my heart. Thank you Jesus for your word that melts even the hardest heart.  Give me a clean heart that I may serve you alone.
Thank you for dying for me and allowing me to have access to this free life. I'm sooo blessed ! I want to say thank you for rescuing me and allowing the privilege to work with these talented  young musicians.

Love,
your child

Another Day

Aug 23, 2010

OK its been an interesting day, my husband came back last night, which leads me straight into today, first day back at work.  

I got ready and got straight to school, was feeling nervous, anxious, so took my mind off it by listening to some Gungor! Love it! Why because it just gets me in a different mental space. 

During rehearsal, some weird things occurred, like kids being scared or unwilling to warm up. I have three seniors who are not really performers, and I don't think any of them are gonna want to go into music, so they weren't great role models. The rehearsals went pretty good. I was scared to talk to the kids about my new role, and my throat threatened to close up several times because of crazy nerves, but once the music started those dissipated. I am proud of myself for saying what I have to say to these children.  They really are kids and not adults and they are not always going to do the right thing.  Frontal lobes.  

I worked at organizing school stuff and then came home to my husband.

I love my hubby, but I did see today that I have to make a choice what to invest my time in....him or work.  cooking dinner or going to get some supplies.  I had to remember my place in good way, althought it was drainful and I also see it is something I gotta give up to God. He is gonna have to work it out in my heart, because Lord knows it a renewal of the mind.  

My husband is amazing, because I realized God gave him the wisdom to know how to cheer me up and help me forget about my stressful day.  Praise God.  I'm thankful that God allowed me to lean on him.  

Another day, tomorrow. I'm praying for a blessed one. 

Peace

Bouncing Back.

Hey everyone,
So my husband is out of town for the first time without me and the last couple of days have been a straight up silly pity party. I was moping around,  laying on the couch, not really motivated to do anything. Yesterday I had to make myself go out and hang with my family members for support. I really missed my DH, but I also have a lot to do before school starts and  I couldn't seem to just get started on it all.

This morning that all had to change, that pity party was enough, and there was a part of me that knew I had to get to Jesus, to God to pull my self out of the muck.  So I did I read the word, I prayed and God was talking to me about having perspective.  THe thing for me to realize so that I do have motivation and keep moving even if I'm not super excited about the task itself, is to know that my life is in service to God, and therefore in service to his people.
Also an empowering thought is to know that I am an heir of Christ and a child of God through adoption. That means that spiritually and naturally I am made of the same stuff as the creator Himself.
Ralph Lauren's children all say that their style idol's are their parents, they can't help but have style running through their veins.   Likewise, I can't help but to be like God in the earth.  I am made of the stuff and have the potential to reflect Jesus in everything I do. The greatest commandment to "Love you neighbor as yourself" becomes your very life.

Also when you know that God is with you and for you and in you, you begin to have confidence. You know that whatever happens God is right there, giving you strength to do His will, to live this life.
How many hurtful things happened to Jesus, but Jesus kept his eye on the Father, and what His Father asked him to be and to do in the earth. Your mind being in peace, being able to allow people's hate to roll of your back, being cool, and above all that, has to do with your faith and confidence in who God created you to be, and what God asks you to do.

I am a teacher and sometimes, it is not easy waking up every morning with that weight, but  one thing is for sure, God is with me ,and their are many opportunities throughout the day for God to be revealed through me, to help someone, to serve someone. Jesus beared it all: ridicule, injustice, hatred, name calling, lying, and he prayed to the Father for strength to endure it all; and also he understood that it wasn't necessarily about him.  He had perspective and God kept his mind through it all.

I pray that God keeps my mind through this journey here.  I have confidence to know that my life is meant to serve a greater purpose than myself. God is orchestrating my life to fulfill his will, and I surrender to his will.  I pray that God calls to my remembrance who He is and who I am in Him, remembering his word.

Today I am freer to live, I can walk out the house not depressed because of what  I lack, but impressed with all that I have.   Love lifted me again.

He's with me!

So I've had great deposit from Jesus about God's omniscience, omnipresence, and omnipotence.  I got side tracked and have been missing the understanding that God is with me all the time! Now that is a simple statement but when you magnify God for who He is.  Awesome and mighty, King of Kings and creator of all we see. Also knowing that he is All powerful or in other words the mightiest and the biggest and baddest and sovereign.

I love the word of God, reading it for myself has truly blessed me. Reading other people's blogs is good and gives you a sense of where to go, but its so much better when you read it for yourself.

What  God has impressed upon me is to lift Him up higher, magnify him. So that when he says He is with me, that I know that I'm protected and taken care of, the pressure is off . Also to know he has a plan for everything. He has a plan for my life and I know very well that he has an expected end in mind. Thoughts to prosper me.

I love that God is showing me how to prevail, to have peace and to be content.
Thinking about mistakes, I can shrug them off knowing that God makes all thing well, and that my value is outside of the tasks that I do. My value is established upon who God is. Who I am is valuable, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and God has a plan for my life, no matter how many mistakes I make.  

Bye for now.

Gungor - Beautiful Things

Love this healing message from Michael Gungor.  Listen to the message.
God makes beautiful things out of the dust and out of us!
Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, [and] I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

Psalm 139:14
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully [and] wonderfully made: marvellous [are] thy works; and [that] my soul knoweth right well.




Words to believe about ourselves.  To speak about ourselves.  

Searching

I'm really loving the opportunity to talk with no inhibitions. To you, which is no one currently. I just had a great conversation with my husband. He is such an encourager and motivator who speaks the truth.  I love him soo much.

Ok so I was sharing my thoughts about this journey in being who I was meant to be.  One thing he helped me with is
1) I'm living life fine! I'm always looking for ways to improve myself, and already the purpose of my blog has shown my feelings of myself. That there is something wrong perhaps, but I'm ok.

2) In my heart of hearts I'm a musician  through and through. I just haven't found my voice, or my outlet for my voice.   In one breath I'm thinking that conducting is my outlet of the river that is inside; however at the end of the day  I don't know if that is even all that I have to offer.

My passion is music. I know that I have an abundance to share in that area.  Stay tuned for just how that works itself out.